LIFO & FIFO Dreams
The discovery of a new dream is vibrant in the mind accustomed to routine. I for one prefer the quality over quantity of my memories, some so painstakingly rich that one step forward and three steps back evolved into a rollercoaster shooting me backwards with a little loop; its not like I noticed since my eyes were glued shut alike with my hands welded to the safety bar. It was scary in the moment and the effects took their shaking jelly form with every step I took to the next faucet of adventure, repeating to myself how the next time I come back, my hands will touch the stars.
Do you get anxious thinking about the grand future you desire? Of course you do, because the million steps it takes to get there are either met with a wind blowing you forward or backward on a given day. Harder days require your hair to be pushed back flying, helping the light at the end of tunnel be seen more clearly than if the wind was rushing you forward, blinded by the itchy mess which surrounds your external environment. When the going gets rough, why we even try is painted ever so clearly in the moments we take a breath to stop trying and just survive, cry, and spawn clarity.
Do your motivations follow the pattern of last in and first out or first in first out? Depending on your ability to see the truth in each situation, lying to yourself is not always the most strategic route, unless you are more trial and error like me. I don’t like to have regrets, so the process of elimination it is (I have changed my major twice already)! There is no shame in saying you tried, likely it keeps you asleep longer during the night and uninterrupted by 3:00 a.m. panic attacks (guilty).
Meeting our dreams halfway first requires strategy; ask yourself these questions if you find it hard to stay motivated by a want of yours:
Does multitasking to you feel more like:
a) A forest hum, a sharp shot, and a new centerpiece
b) Eating your favorite breakfast, donating blood, and drive-thru coffee
c) Cashback, driving with the windows down, and the Sunday scaries
What is your favorite genre of oldies?
a) Jazz; an astigmatism trip
b) Classical; penguin tuxedo
c) Ballad; here and waiting, an ode
Which synonym of “learning” speaks to you the most?
a) Discovery
b) Resourcefulness
c) Training
Multitasking is HARD for me. Discovering that reading kept my growing brain at ease while it was pumping out chemicals exhaustingly came in handy when societal school pressures became a bit too much. Book out and screaming children around, I learned to focus on one thing at a time. Does that make me more sane than smart? I would like to master them both equally, formulating a route to perfect resilience and motivation; I will make it one of my life’s dreams.
Excitement has been blown through the trees surrounding my college campus, reinventing what it feels like to die, rest, and sit with what I will eventually become. I feel scattered, making my mark where I work, learn, and relate to this place where my torn wear-and-tear paints this town with meaningful memories. I love the color orange now, and I know why I do. The drop is never as worse as I dream it will be.
Why is it so easy to become discouraged than it is to be encouraged? Is it a bad thing to know why you are discouraged and still continue to trudge ahead? As I make my way into the rollercoaster cart, I can feel my heartbeat climbing along with the altitude as we approach the big drop; I remind myself that I am scared, but it is okay because I will be safe and the ride will eventually come to an end. Whereas I dread the drop, the person diving headfirst into the funny stomach-flying feeling has been waiting to touch the high sun beams and head immediately after into the low that follows since opening their eyes that same morning. Both will smile to themselves after the ride finishes and think “I did it.” Our continuation to experience encourages our dreams and their framework, an endless blueprint of ourselves until the day we share our map of the world for the last time. Where have we met before in our similar lessons and what can I learn from you when I have to explore similar terrain? Altitudes are no match against our creativity to make the journey as enjoyable as possible.
