Safety
Natural disasters are unavoidable as the name has us imagine them. To always prepare and plan your best against them knowing that they will still always take something away from you; time, energy, parts of our own identity. At given times we can protect ourselves from the onsight of their warning signs, escaping narrowly with only a hair out of place. What one must understand about natural disasters is that they are the product of the butterfly effect, where the instability of one environment will consequently carry over into another.
As we continue to trek across this shared world, we learn which temperaments suit our individual selves the best. Where I have discovered my love for warmth, I have carried this over into my love for closeness. The moments in which they coincide feels as if I am experiencing the out-of-body beauty that is a rainbow.
I know I am blessed when a memory of mine brings me to embrace the idea of adventuring into a new environment, one where I see that what breathes has endless opportunity to grow and color the area. Blossoming and becoming are one of the same nature, both happening in flow with time, patient and resourceful when the weather dulls and spills the hues we have worked so hard to keep bright and as a guiding light through these natural disasters.
In keeping ourselves in the same environment, we are still changing but on a more subconscious level. The reason as to why the argument of nature v. nurture is still unsolvable and virtually immeasurable is due to the endless amount of factors contributed by the ever-changing world of which we know for a fact, makes causation inadequate to the term of correlation. The reason I write is because I know that it helps me to understand the environment that is my life and that if I can introspect enough, I can find patterns between my past and present to then be able to flower under any circumstance and within any environment, through any storm.
What I have come to learn about myself is that while I love warmth, I know that I can only find it through my own curation or where it occurs naturally, wanting to be of use where it has enough space to illuminate a given environment. We shine brightest when we feel safe enough to, putting ourselves at the forefront of every living organism that has the power to help or hinder the passion we all have to give. I want my sun to find its beauty through me, a constant cycle of helping one another be at their best.
As a bystander found to be as abundant and observant as a wallflower, I am moved from place to place and feeling to feeling as I am seen for my contribution to simply be of serenity to those in need instead of a small and unbecoming weed, so weak that I must be stepped on, ripped and unrooted to succumb to the bigger populations of personalities and postures idea that to survive in dependence is to be deserved of death. Here, in the natural environments of such minds have I been beaten and broken to forever limp toward the warmth I simply need to survive.
Some creatures are more complex than others, finding it more amicable to take advantage of the environment we all share. Comfort to them is seen as a luxury, undeserving to those who have not struggled. Finding it within themselves to bring forth the harsh realities they have endured, they paint their natural environment of chaos as a natural disaster of which will make us stronger, better, like them.
The only times I have had to question my safety were in the curated environments of men. Love to me now is as polarizing as the four seasons we endure in the span of 365 days; on this earth I have died and been reborn only to have my true self and wants be revealed with each natural disaster I find myself eager to make the last. Storms will not last forever but the wreckage will always leave something permanently broken, irreplaceable and lost forever.
To eat or to be eaten is a love language I will never understand.
